Old Love Notes

With all the talking that I do about getting back into writing, I've been trying to walk the walk and not just talk the talk, so to speak. Part of starting over is reviewing the past. Here is a blast from the past that was never released in "Celsi's Outpost"©.

Allen©
By Celsi Jude Erwing

He asked that I write something for him.
Then, I assured him that I would.
He, now, expects some piece of innocence
To come back to him, and remind him
Of what a good man he was to me then.
I took in a long breath and sighed deeply.
My mind flipped through page after page
Of the photo album I keep in my heart.
There were pictures of his blue eyes and
That smile he had when he was truly happy.
In some of the photos, you could see more
Than what the picture should have shown.
You could see the harshness of a cold divorce
And the hurt he felt when she left him.
His laughter that he shared was from a jar
That he kept close, using it when he felt sad.
Page after page, I looked in his eyes for truth
Showing me who he was deep inside himself.
After an hour or so of staring at the memories,
I sit in my dark corner within my soul and
I cry for him.
When he asked me to write a poem for him,
Telling him of how much I loved him then,
And of how much I love him still,
I could not think of the perfect words to use.
All that came to mind was what I wanted for him.
Everything that I tried to share with him was
All that he could have ever wanted from another.
Love is all I had to offer to a man like him.
Love is all I ever asked for in return.
It has been two years or more since I have seen
The eyes that used to melt my soul from inside out.
It seems longer, still, since I felt the arms that
I thought would hold me for the rest of my life.
But, it seem like it has been forever and a day
Since I've felt the passion for another man, that
I felt with him.
I'm sorry if the words I've written don't seem to
Match the criteria that you had asked for.
It isn't really even a poem.
But, this is how I feel when I think of you.
My heart misses how you were with me,
And my soul misses the way you loved me.
My mind, however, can only forgive you,
It has not yet learned how to forget you.
I love you still.