Mommy Dearest

When my daughter was a child, people always called me "Mommy Dearest" because they always felt that I was too hard on her. I was very strict. In fact, my daughter tells people that she was raised militantly. There was always a time and place to cut loose and have fun. Several times while we were out in public, when she began misbehaving, I would simply tell her "this is not your playground", and she would straighten up right away. Afterwards, in the car or when we got home, we would share in fun time. I was very strict, but I always tried to make the rewards for good behavior well worth it.

My daughter, now almost 20 years old, is grounded for a month. She is two weeks into her stint without complaint. Her grounding is just as it sounds: NO GOING OUT. She leaves with me for errands or to go to work. That is all. She has not even asked to go out with her friends because she knows that she made a mistake and a price must be paid. Again, it was just how she was raised.

I was talking to a friend of mine who has 3 children. All parents do their parenting differently, just as all children must be raised in a fashion that works for them. As with most friends, we often times share tales of what our children are up to. This includes the good things as well as the bad. After sharing the story of grounding my adult aged daughter, my friend said to me with astonishment "I didn't know you could ground a 20 year old!" I just laughed.

A few days later, I was getting ready to leave work for a short bit, just long enough to pick my daughter up from work and take her home before returning to work myself. I called her to see if she was ready to leave and was informed, to my dismay, that a friend of her's was there and would take her home. I could not believe it! Calmly, I explained to her that she knew this was not acceptable. She said that she had not asked her friend to pick her up. Nevertheless, her friend showed up there as my daughter was getting off work. With a stern voice, I told her "I will see you at home in 5 minutes." At home, the problem was quickly resolved with a short talk. I explained to my child that, although she had not actually broken any rules, she should tell her friend how the gesture, regardless of intent, could have backlashed and made the punishment longer. That's right. That's how it is with me.

Again, back at work, discussing what happened, my friend said "wow, you really ARE strict!" My daughter called shortly after about a concert she had been planning to go to for months. At the end of the conversation, we exchanged "I love you's" and ended the conversation. This left my friend in complete awe. She told me that if she were to punish one of her kids, they would be so mad at her and not even talk to her.

Nowadays, you always hear people griping and complaining about discipline; there's too much or not enough. I don't think that I'm pulling my hair out because parents do or don't discipline their kids. I'm angry that parents aren't parenting, aren't controlling in situations that require it, and aren't relaxed and participant enough at times when they could and should be.

This is my story, my rant, my opinion. You don't have to like it, agree with it, or understand it. My point to this story is that I am proud to have a daughter who may have faults, but is understanding enough to accept the consequences maturely. I'm a proud momma. :)