It's my last day alone in the house. Funny thing is, Alex has called me every single day, sometimes twice a day, to tell me about a show she watched, a dream she had, or for reasons like tonight. I just got off the phone with her. Towards the end of our conversation she tells me, "you know, I was just sitting here wanting to talk to someone, and the only person I could think to call was my mommy." I told her, "that's okay. Sometimes I'd rather talk to you than any of my friends because you just 'get' me." LOL. My baby girl will be home tomorrow. I'll be happy to see her. I'm always happy to see her. :) I love that girl!
Now, about my day. All week long, I've spent time with friends doing this or that. Today, I was sitting here thinking, alone, and it came to me that I hadn't seen my grandmother in a couple of years. I know, I know. That's way to long to go without seeing your grandmother. If you only knew how "off" my family is, you'd understand why I don't see (or claim) any of my family except my mother and my child. Now, before I begin this story, I want to apologize for anyone who finds this offensive. The fact is, I too was extremely offended!
I went to visit and my grandmother didn't even recognize me. Not that she has alzheimers or some other mind altering disease. She simply did not realize who I was due to the length of time it had been since I'd last visited. The entire time I was there the conversation was her talking about herself, and how bad everyone was doing, how grandpa hadn't spoken to her for 3 weeks, how the world had just gone to shit basically. Oh, it just went on and on and on. I told her through an uncomfortable chuckle "you were just born to bitch, weren't you?" I know I shouldn't talk to my grandmother that way, but she just wouldn't stop! She started talking about some black man that she used to work with and actually dropped the "N" word a few times. I told her that she shouldn't say things like that. She justified this by saying "I'm old. When I was growing up, we had n*****'s." OMG! Unacceptable! I told her that I didn't care what they had when she was growing up, I didn't want to hear it! So she decided to go through and tell me what they used to call other ethnic people. WTF?? I had to go. I refuse to sit through a conversation with someone so openly racist regardless of my relation to them!!
I left. I had to. I could not take anymore of her. I don't think I can bring myself to go back out there again.
I got home, made some dinner and popped in a movie. "Mad Money". This was unexpected. I really did like this one a lot! Being that there's still a bit of writer in me, I'm always interested in ways to pull off the perfect crime. Whether it's murder, smuggling, or hiding from the law until proven innocent, I'm interested in creative ways to do it. This movie had a plan that was brilliant!
Afterwards, I also watched "Passion of the Mind" with Demi Moore in it. Listen, when you have dreams as lucid as mine, so real in fact that you don't want to wake up for fear of losing the adventure you're on, this story touches very close to home. If you haven't seen it or heard of it, it's a story about a young woman that has a very real life, and dreams of a life so vividly that she eventually can't tell the difference anymore between the dream life and her true life. In both lives she even has a shrink to which she tells them about the other life, which still confuses the audience as to which life is real. It's worth watching if you are a dreamer.
Finally, my day was topped off with a phone call from my baby. I miss her. This little break was good for both of us, I think. I didn't get a lot of alone time, but that's okay. A little alone time is more than what I usually get. Earlier in the week I had told Alex that I'd been busy with friends and going out to do things. She said something like "oh, so you can't do things with your friends while I'm there?" No no no, that's not it. I told her that when she's here, I like spending my time with her, and I don't want to take away from that. Silly girl.
So, my last day alone started out badly, but ended up okay. My week alone has ended. I survived. LOL.
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