Ohio

Alex left for Dayton, Ohio on Friday morning and got home on Sunday evening. She had a blast. The ROTC group took 25 cadets to see "Spirit of America" and had a great time camping out at an old armory there. I'm glad my baby had a good time. They were not allowed to take cell phones, so I didn't hear from her all weekend. I wasn't worried, but just anxious for her to be back home.

I've started writing again. Not sure how it's going thus far. Usually, the beginning is the easiest part for me, and the follow through leaves something to be desired. Since I'm so out of practice of conjouring thoughts, it's difficult for me to get a good running start. I was out sick today, and thought I may as well give it a go at jotting down some words. I got one page. One page of character development. Honestly, I'm thinking about scrapping it and just starting the first page over.

Things have been on my mind lately. Things like "Alex only has 2 more years of school" "Alex's life is so much more normal than mine" and "Alex will date for several years before she marries, and he will be a good man." It's all just crazy thinking. It's comparitive thinking, really. I think I got very lucky with that little girl. She's so much stronger and well-rounded than I was at her age. She is so domineering, whereas I was always so submissive growing up. I'm very proud of my baby.

Justin and I have been talking about rings. Rings are important to me. Especially when I am happy. I am truly happy. Justin is my best friend, and I love him very much. I realize that I don't mention him much and I suppose that's because people share misery and worry more than their highlights of life. But, I do love that man, and you should know this.
While talking about rings, Justin said that he believed in buying practical or useful things rather than flowers and jewelry. I agree. But at some point, you want that little piece of something meaningful to hold on to. Even though flowers bloom and die, the thought and memory of how excited you are to receive them... well, those are memories that you don't keep track of when someone buys you new shoes or a fancy dinner. That is not to sound ungrateful for those other things, but the feeling is just different.

Last week, my second ex-husband bought me flowers for what would have been our second anniversary. I didn't even realize the date when I received the flowers. That is, not until I read the card which stated "Happy would-be anniversary!" Don't go thinking that this is a tiding to win me back. This is just how the man is. Always impressive, one way or another. Still, the key word in our relationship is divorced.

You're probably wondering what dearest Justin thinks of this other man sending me flowers. Absolutely nothing. He told me that it used to upset him, but now he knows that this is just how my ex-husband is about things. LOL. I always chid that the men that I date are always playing the stereotypical "woman" role, and I am the "man". I don't remember shit. I didn't remember the anniversary date, don't remember my first date, don't remember much when it comes to my relationships. But, boy do the men! And they want to discuss feelings and drill down to find out what the situation really is. In my current situation, I think we've discussed the fact that we are happy, and that we should just concentrate on being happy and enjoying our time together and not worry about where it's going or "what we are". Simply put, we are happy.

OMG, I almost forgot something. I had the oddest dream the other night. I had a dream that there was a huge party at my house, in the backyard. There were tons of people there having a grand ol' time. We were laughing and everything was swell. Then, a few friends of mine showed up unexpectedly. This was bad. They began telling tales of the past. Things that I've done and now regret. Things that I've tried to correct or move on from. I, not being myself in the dream, politely and firmly asked them to leave. I was embarrassed and ashamed of the stories they were spilling. I could not believe that anyone would do such a thing, even if they believed it to be totally innocent.

I suppose I should rap it up. It's past bedtime, and I've got work to do tomorrow. I will keep you posted on the story as it develops, if it develops. LOL. I think I just need some more practice in writing right now. Perhaps I'll get sucked into another college course of creative writing. That could lead somewhere. :)  Goodnight friends.